Behind Every Successful Man...

...is a wisecracking wife.

The following is a transcript of an actual conversation between Hubby and me the other day.

Hubby: Babe, can I talk to you for a minute?

Me: Sure. What's up?

Hubby: I'm thinking of trying to go for my CMB.

Me: What's that?

Hubby: It's a special certification for people in my field.

Me: Is it something you're required to get?

Hubby: No, but it's really nice to have.

Me: I've never heard of it. Is it something you go for after your MBA?

Hubby: Not really. It's not a school thing...it's more like a special designation. It's based on a point system and you have to acquire 50 points by serving on committees and boards and then you also have to take five week-long continuing education classes in San Diego, Chicago, Houston, Atlanta, and New York.

Me: You had me at San Diego. Do wives get to go?

Hubby: Maybe, but I don't know how much time we'd get. It's an entire week of morning to night classes, workshops and meetings.

Me: Well, that doesn't sound too hard.

Hubby: That's just the beginning. After that, you have to take a test that lasts 6 hours and IF you pass it, you're required to go in front of a board of other CMBs for an oral interview. If you're accepted, you earn the designation and you get to put the letters behind your name whenever you sign something. In all, it takes about a year-and-a-half to earn it.

Me: Cool...but what's the POINT of the designation? Why do people do it?

Hubby: It's kind of a prestige thing in my industry.

Me: That's a lot of work for a better seat at the annual mortgage banker's banquet.

Hubby: Do you remember Mr. Banker Bigshot...the one we had dinner with last year?

Me: The guy who earns more money than Oprah?

Hubby: Yeah...THAT guy. He has his CMB.

Me: Go on.

(Mention Oprah money and you suddenly get my undivided attention.)

Hubby: If you have it, you can pretty much write your own ticket. The door to any bank is open to you because they all want to have CMBs on their staff.

Me: But why? WHY does the designation make those people so coveted?

Hubby: Because there are so few of them.

Me: So...what? They're like Jedi masters or something?

Hubby: Kind of.

Hubby's laughing here because deep down, he likes being compared to a Jedi master. All guys do.

Me: Then you must undertake your training, young Luke.

Hubby: Ha! Ha! Very funny.

Me: May the Mort be with you!

Hubby: The Mort?

Me: Short for mortgage. It's the best I could come up with off the top of my head.

Hubby: Alright. Good talking this through with you...

Me, in by best Yoda impersonation (which isn't good): Interest rates low they are.

Hubby: Good one.

Me: Wait! Wait! One more...so the Death Star is like what? The Fed?

Hubby: Hilarious. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your serious contemplation of this potentially life-changing decision. I can just feel the love and support.

Me: Anytime, young Jedi, anytime.