One More Candle On The Cake

Today is Hubby's birthday...he's 38. A friend of mine whose family is from South Korea told me that they count the nine months you spent in your mother's womb as part of your age, so using this reasoning, Hubby would actually be 39 today. I told him this little factoid this morning and his response was "That's why we don't live in South Korea."

Anyway, I thought that as a little tribute, I would make today's post all about Hubby, and I why I love him. I was going to get him a birthday present, but he went ahead and saved me the time and trouble and bought it himself...a new Scotty Cameron putter. Apparently, this is the best gift I have EVER given him. I don't know that much about golf, so I'll take his word for it. All that leaves for me to do is get a cake and write my Birthday Ode to Hubby.

As you have probably already gathered from reading my many posts about my adventures with Hubby, he is an extremely PATIENT and TOLERANT man. I am very thankful for both of these qualities because sometimes I forget that Hubby is actually my husband and not my trusty sidekick. Whereas I am the "reactor" in most situations, Hubby is the "responder"...big difference. He is the voice of restraint in this relationship, and boy does that come in handy sometimes.

Here are a few things about Hubby you may or may not know:

Hubby didn't have a very nice father...he was a cynical, selfish and mean-spirited bully, who frankly didn't really want children. Hubby hasn't spoken to his dad in more than ten years and I've only met him once. He came to our wedding, sat in the back and then left immediately after we said "I do." He didn't even come to the reception.

One day, after we'd been married about five years, Hubby came to me and said he was done with his father. He asked if I had a problem with us changing our last name. I said I had no problem whatsoever, so a few days later we went to an attorney and we changed our last name. We took Hubby's mother's maiden name (which had been his middle name), he then took his maternal grandfather's middle name...and that was that. He hasn't mentioned his father since the day we signed the papers, and I doubt he ever will.

Hubby's like that, though. It takes a lot for him to get to that place, but once he's done with you...that's it. You don't get another chance.

Miraculously, despite growing up with a father who was perpetually pissed off, Hubby grew up to be a fun-loving, funny, optimistic, lover of life and frankly, that was what most attracted me to him when we first met...plus he's a freakin' awesome dancer! He's not one of those guys who is too cool to groove and I love that about him! Together, we can rip up a dance floor...well, Hubby more so than me. When I dance, I kind of look like I might have some sort of a condition, but I still love it!

The man who made the biggest impact on Hubby during his formative years was his 62-year-old uncle with Down Syndrome who lived with his family the entire time he was growing up. On more than one occasion Hubby has commented on the fact that he would be a completely different man today if it hadn't been for the influence of Uncle, for he was the one who taught Hubby the value of kindness, compassion, tolerance and unconditional love.

On the night he died, both Hubby and his younger brother swear that Uncle came to each of them in a dream. They both described him as being very handsome, really tall and wearing a suit that looked like it was from the '40s. He told both boys that he was going to be okay and that they shouldn't be sad for him. He also promised that he would always be with them. Hubby was in his early twenties when Uncle died.

This story still gives me chills. When my grandmother died, they told me this story to help give me solace...and it did. Since Hubby and Little Bro told me this story, I've come to believe that people with Down Syndrome are actually angels sent to earth to live among us...and only the most special people get to know such a gift.

Hubby is your classic oldest child. He is very responsible...your "go-to guy" when you need someone to take control and get things done. He's very big into planning for a rainy day...he's all about savings accounts, IRAs and diversified stock portfolios and he actually loses sleep over the fact that his younger brother (a much freer spirit) doesn't have a 401(k)...and I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that Miss Priss had a college fund set up for her within minutes of the stick turning blue.

One of the things I love most about Hubby is that he is a truly honorable man. His word is very important to him and if he gives it to you, you can bet it's stronger than ANY contract, and he will NEVER go back on it.

He is also a fair fighter. In this department, I've learned a lot from Hubby. When we argue, he rarely raises his voice and he'll ONLY discuss the issue at hand. He never brings up the past, he's NEVER called me a name, and he has no problem apologizing when he's wrong. Now, if YOU'RE wrong...he expects your apology and the fight will keep going until he gets it, but once you do apologize, he's quick to accept it and quick to move on.

Hubby is one of those rare souls who is at once ambitious, aggressive, ethical and kind.

He was always afraid of becoming a father because he had this deep underlying fear that he would be like his own father. This is one of the reasons it took us so long to decide to have a baby...he was really afraid. I NEVER worried about it, though, and I wasn't the least bit surprised to see that he's the complete opposite of his father. He's a loving, committed and active parent. Our daughter loves her "Davy" and if EVER there was a man wrapped around a little girl's finger, it's Hubby.

Hubby is a self-made man...though I give A LOT of the credit to his mother and his grandmother.

He is generous with hugs and kisses, "I love yous" and "thank yous." He opens doors for me, pulls out my chair and always brings me my coffee in the morning. I know these are small gestures, but they tell me everything I need to know.

Happy 38th, Hubby. Miss Priss and I love you sooooo much...even though, in Korea, you are really 39...which is almost 40.